The past couple of weeks have been challenging and in a sense, spiritually rewarding. Veronica and I have seen the passing of her grandfather and our niece. This has given me reason to contemplate life and also view things from a different perspective.
The first passing, of Veronica's grandfather, although saddening, was something we didn't know when it would come, but because of his deteriorating condition, we knew that it would be within the next couple of years. We all know that as the body ages it starts to become more fragile and so it was in this case.
Just a couple of days before he passed away I mentioned to Veronica that we needed to plan a trip to the east and visit all of our relatives that are aging. I've never wanted the feeling that I didn't get to see someone before they passed. Of course in order for me to accomplish this I'd need to go to both the east and west coast. But I want the feeling that I at least tried to make it out to visit them.
The more recent passing of our niece, Sidney, struck us harder. She was traveling on a road trip with the rest of her family and didn't survive a vehicle accident. It completely devastated our family and extended family. How could such and innocent life be taken away from us? Nothing could explain the feelings inside. I then began to contemplate what my brother and his family could be experiencing. This brought me even greater sorrow. I love my brother so much, and to even try to comprehend what he might be going through brought me to tears. These are times that test our faith and who we are.
My wife and I were speaking with my mother last night and there seemed to be a feeling of wanting to be with Sidney. Not so much a feeling of wanting to be dead, but a feeling of holding her in our arms. You could see the fear of dying disappear. No more fear. It became as a stepping stone to what is to come. Not wanting to hasten this life's process but becoming more in tune to the Plan of Salvation. My mother told us that she mentioned wanting to be with Sidney to my father. My father replied, "What about your other grandchildren? What about Alli? What about Max? They need you too. What about me?" It's discussions like this that make you reflect on life. Growing up as a Mormon, we are taught strong family values. In fact you could say that our doctrine surrounds the family in the eternities. Principles that are made available by Jesus Christ.
I feel that Sidney has taught us a valuable lesson in what Heavenly Father has in store for us. Thank you Sidney. We love you very much.
A quote Sidney's father included on the funeral program:
"...I have meditated upon the subject, and asked the question, why it is that infants, innocent children, are taken away from us, especially those that seem to be the most intelligent and interesting. The strongest reasons that present themselves to my mind are these: This world is a very wicked world; and it … grows more wicked and corrupt. … The Lord takes many away, even in infancy, that they may escape the envy of man, and the sorrows and evils of this present world; they were too pure, too lovely, to live on earth; therefore, if rightly considered, instead of mourning we have reason to rejoice as they are delivered from evil, and we shall soon have them again... Notwithstanding all this glory, we for a moment lose sight of it, and mourn the loss, but we do not mourn as those without hope.” -Joseph Smith
